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#1

Axel van de Graaf

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Geplaatst op 16 februari 2009 - 08:18

Commentary about the AI spot of Jeremy Irons

The amnesty international spot from Jeremy Irons is very well constructed. He lists a lot of arguments against the death penalty without mentioning the arguments in favour death penalty. Maybe people who are not difficult will be against the death penalty without thinking a lot. But even people who are difficult may think that possible counterarguments are less decisive. Jeremy Irons makes also the capital fault of the death penalty clear with the pun about Ďcapital punishmentí. If you belong to an ethical minority you have more chances to get the death penalty. This is made clear very well by Jeremy Irons.

Commentary about the work of Ron Mueck

In normal cases I am not that interested in art, but this time I really like his art. Itís wonderful how you can make sculptures that meticulous. The images almost look like real. It is also very recognisable. The emotions of the images can you see very clearly. About every sculpture I can think a situation that is recognisable.


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#2

TheGreaterGood

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Geplaatst op 16 februari 2009 - 10:34

The amnesty international spot from Jeremy Irons is very well constructed. He lists a lot of arguments against the death penalty without mentioning the arguments in favour death penalty. Maybe people who are not difficult will be against the death penalty without thinking a lot. But even people who are difficult may think that possible counterarguments are less decisive. Jeremy Irons makes also the capital fault of the death penalty clear with the pun about Ďcapital punishmentí. If you belong to an ethical minority you have more chances to get the death penalty. This is made clear very well by Jeremy Irons.

The amnesty international spot from jermey Irons is very well organised. He lists a couple of argurments against the deapth penalty. (Though, he fails to mention any arguments in favour.) Perhaps, most people are against this captial punishemnt without having ever considered its merits. However, also people who have given it a good thought appear to be against it. One of the major arguments from Jeremy Irons is that if you belong to an ethical minorty you have increased changes of recieving the death penalty.

Ik heb het stukje voor opnieuw voor je geschreven, probeer te letten op de samenhang van het verhaal. Het lijkt wel alsof je allemaal losse zinnen gebruikt. Verder zijn sommige woorden zoals: "difficult" niet op de juiste manier gebruikt. Maar voor de rest was het redelijk goed.
"Your American beer is a little like making love on a canoe."
"How so?"
"It's fucking close to water!"

#3

TheGreaterGood

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Geplaatst op 16 februari 2009 - 10:44

Voor dit stukje hetzelfde, je probeert het heel mooi te schrijven door "moeilijke" woorden te gebruiken. Alleen passen ze niet helemaal.

Normally, I am not that interested in art at all. This time, however, I really liked it! (Itís wonderful how you can make sculptures with such meticulosity.) It's wonderful how you can make sculptures with such care and detail. Every sculpture has it's own story with images that are very reconisable. You can easily get carried away by just looking at them.
"Your American beer is a little like making love on a canoe."
"How so?"
"It's fucking close to water!"

#4

Axel van de Graaf

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Geplaatst op 16 februari 2009 - 15:25

Omdat mijn Engelse woordenschat niet bijster groot is, moet ik vaak woorden opzoeken in een (online) woordenboek. En daar kan je soms moeilijk afleiden wat de juiste connotatie van een bepaald woord is...

Bedankt voor je hulp, ik zal m'n tekst aanpassen.
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#5

Rhiannon

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Geplaatst op 17 februari 2009 - 11:01

Every sculpture has it's own story with images that are very recognisable.


Zoals al eerder opgemerkt, gebruik liever niet "it's" als "it is" bedoeld is, zeker niet in geschreven tekst. Dan "it's own story" is niet correct. Hier is "its" geen afkorting van "it is", maar gaat het om "zijn", dus "its own story". Je zegt toch ook niet "his's".
Hoe minder kennis, des te onwrikbaarder het oordeel.

#6

Adpruys

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Geplaatst op 17 februari 2009 - 11:46

Ik vind het eerlijk gezegd heel slecht engels. Eigenlijk onbegrijpelijk
Commentary about the AI spot of Jeremy Irons

The amnesty international spot from Jeremy Irons is very well constructed. He lists a lot of arguments against the death penalty without mentioning the arguments in favour death penalty. Maybe people who are not difficult will be against the death penalty without thinking a lot. But even people who are difficult may think that possible counterarguments are less decisive. Jeremy Irons makes also the capital fault of the death penalty clear with the pun about Ďcapital punishmentí. If you belong to an ethical minority you have more chances to get the death penalty. This is made clear very well by Jeremy Irons.

Commentary about the work of Ron Mueck

In normal cases I am not that interested in art, but this time I really like his art. Itís wonderful how you can make sculptures that meticulous. The images almost look like real. It is also very recognisable. The emotions of the images can you see very clearly. About every sculpture I can think a situation that is recognisable.
and theres nothing left worth knowing
And its time you should be going

While you see a chance take it

#7

prikker

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Geplaatst op 17 februari 2009 - 12:13

Commentary about the AI spot of Jeremy Irons

The amnesty international spot from Jeremy Irons is very well constructed. He lists a lot of arguments against the death penalty without mentioning the arguments in favour death penalty. Maybe people who are not difficult will be against the death penalty without thinking a lot. But even people who are difficult may think that possible counterarguments are less decisive. Jeremy Irons makes also the capital fault of the death penalty clear with the pun about ‘capital punishment’. If you belong to an ethical minority you have more chances to get the death penalty. This is made clear very well by Jeremy Irons.

Commentary about the work of Ron Mueck

In normal cases I am not that interested in art, but this time I really like his art. It’s wonderful how you can make sculptures that meticulous. The images almost look like real. It is also very recognisable. The emotions of the images can you see very clearly. About every sculpture I can think a situation that is recognisable.

Heb hier mijn versie; grotendeels overgenomen van TheGreaterGood, maar vooral wat spelfoutjes eruit gehaald.

Commentary about Jeremy Irons' views concerning Amnesty International and the death penalty

Jeremy Irons has a clear vision about Amnesty International and the death penalty. He lists a few arguments against the death penalty. (Though, he fails to mention any arguments in favour.) Perhaps, most people are against this capital punishment without having ever considered its merits. However, also people who have given it a good thought appear to be against it. One of the major arguments from Jeremy Irons is that if you belong to an ethical minority you have increased chances of receiving the death penalty.

Commentary about the work of Ron Mueck

Normally, I am not that interested in art at all. This time, however, I really liked it! It's wonderful how you can make sculptures with such great care and detail. Every sculpture has its own story with images that are very recognisable. You can easily get carried away by just looking at them.

#8

TheGreaterGood

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Geplaatst op 17 februari 2009 - 13:06

Zoals al eerder opgemerkt, gebruik liever niet "it's" als "it is" bedoeld is, zeker niet in geschreven tekst. Dan "it's own story" is niet correct. Hier is "its" geen afkorting van "it is", maar gaat het om "zijn", dus "its own story". Je zegt toch ook niet "his's".


Je hebt gelijk, dom foutje!
Maar doorgaan gebruikt je "it's" bij een informeel verhaal (dus ook geschreven) en "It is" bij een academische tekst of formeel verhaal.
"Your American beer is a little like making love on a canoe."
"How so?"
"It's fucking close to water!"

#9

leeghhoofdt

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Geplaatst op 17 februari 2009 - 13:12

ethical minority

moet dit niet etnical zijn??

#10

leeghhoofdt

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Geplaatst op 17 februari 2009 - 13:39

Kon niet meer bewerken wegens IPL-error?
Maar moet natuurlijk ethnical zijn. (typefout verbeteren met een typefout :D )

#11

Axel van de Graaf

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Geplaatst op 17 februari 2009 - 16:30

Ik heb de tekst aangepast en uitgebreid:

The amnesty international spot from Jeremy Irons is very well organised. He lists a couple of arguments against the death penalty. Though, he fails to mention any arguments in favour. Perhaps, most people are against this capital punishments without having ever considered its merits. However, also people who have given it a good thought appear to be against it. One of the major arguments from Jeremy Irons is that if you belong to an ethical minority you have increased changes of receiving the death penalty. He makes also clear the capital fault of the death penalty clear with the pun about Ďcapital punishmentí.
An item that Irons donít mentions enough is the work that AI does for the community. If he wants to convince us of the good intentions of AI, he also have to inform us about that. After the spot we can be persuaded of the wickedness of the death penalty, but we may be suspicious about the intentions of AI.
Commentary about the work of Ron Mueck

Normally, I am not that interested in art at all. This time, however, I really liked it! Itís admirable how you can make sculptures with such meticulosity. It's wonderful how you can make sculptures with such care and detail. Every sculpture has it's own story with images that are very recognisable. You can easily get carried away by just looking at them. At every sculpture you can imagine a situations, whole stories.


@ adpruys: ik kan inderdaad helemaal niet goed Engels. Om een nieuwe buis te vermijden leek het me verstandig de tekst eerst eens te laten nakijken :D

Veranderd door Axel van de Graaf, 17 februari 2009 - 16:31

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#12

anusthesist

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Geplaatst op 17 februari 2009 - 17:33

Though, he fails to mention any arguments in favour.


Zou ik zo niet zeggen, of zeg although he fails (aan het begin), of he fails to mention....though (aan het eind).

Perhaps, most people are against this capital punishments


...against the/this capital punishment, of against the/these capital punishments. Lijkt mij de eerste optie de beste,
omdat het over de doodstraf als fenomeen gaat, niet over welke verschillende doodstraffen er zijn.

One of the major arguments from Jeremy Irons is...


One of Jeremy Irons' major arguments is...

that if you belong to an ethical minority you have increased changes


ethnical (al meerdere malen gezzegd), chance ipv change.

He makes also clear the capital fault of the death penalty clear with the pun about ‘capital punishment’.


Qu'est-ce que c'est? Of in het Engels wtf?

An item that Irons don’t mentions enough is the work that AI does for the community.


doesn't mention

he also have to inform us about that.



he also has

Every sculpture has it's own story



Reeds genoemd: its

At every sculpture you can imagine a situations, whole stories. [/i]


Lijkt mij with beter. A situation of situations.
That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.





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