[thermodynamica-gein]adiabatische expansie van de hel

Jan van de Velde

Een geintje mag ook wel eens op zijn tijd. Toegepaste natuurkunde heet dat. 8)

so, at this college there was an extra credit question "Is hell endothermic or exothermic"

this is what one kid wrote:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.

If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose (i.e.,Hell is exothermic).

Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over (i.e.,Hell is endothermic).

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given by Ms.Therese Banyan during my freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in hell before I go out with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having a relationship with her, the second case cannot be true. Therefore, hell is exothermic.

the kid was the only one who got credit

http://www.bash.org/?301963

Stephaan

@JvdV Heb je er nog van dat soort ? ik vind die heel leuk hoor !

Jan van de Velde

Tot je dienst:

IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS? (Spy Magazine, January 1990)

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of

living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects

and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only

Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18 ) in the world. BUT since

Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist

children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million

according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)rate of 3.5

children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at

least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different

time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to

west(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This

is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has

1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney,

fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat

whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the

sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8

million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we

know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept),

we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2

million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least

once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh

is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For

purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses

space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional

reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming

that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds),

the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably

described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more

than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could

pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even

nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even

counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison

- this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air

resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as

spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer

will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short,

they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer

behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.The entire

reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa,

meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater

than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)would be

pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's

dead now.

(story originally attributed to Richard Waller)

................................................

Ger

In 1 woord: Geweldig!

Bart

http://www.dctech.com/physics/humor.php

Jan van de Velde

nog zoiets geinigs:

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