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#1

*_gast_pientje21_*

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Geplaatst op 19 januari 2014 - 20:15

Hallo, voor mijn examen Engels moet ik een presentatie geven. Zouden iemand deze presentatie misschien willen controleren op fouten? Mijn Engels is niet zo sterk... :(
Alvast super bedankt!


I am going to tell you something about my best friend and my sister.
First, I am going to tell you something about my best friend. Her name is B. She is twenty years old. I have known her since secondary school.
B. has brown hair and blue eyes. She wears glasses. She is tall and thin.


B. is very curious. When she meets other people, she wants to know everything about them. Also at school, at sports, at my home or my friends home, she wants to know everything for example about my family. B. is also sportive. She likes to play tennis and she likes skating. Also she runs three times a week. She does sports almost every day.
She likes shopping, skating and playing tennis. Also she likes doing things with her friends, for example go to the cinema or go out. Last summer, we went on holiday to Spain together. That was a great holiday.


B. wears always neatly (??) clothes. For example she wears a skirt or black trousers and a blouse with pumps or boots. She loves shoes!

She works at a primary school as teachers assistant with children aged 7-12 years old. For example she gives extra lessons to children with learning problems.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second person I am going to tell you something about is my sister. Her name is F., she is twenty-two years old.
F. has blond hair and blue eyes. F. also wears glasses. She is tall and thin.


F. has a calm character. F. is very friendly, helpful and funny. She is helpful, because she always helps us when we have problems. And she is very funny, because I can always laugh with her and she makes a lot of jokes. We also do a lot of things together. For example, two years ago we went on holiday to Greece, it was also a very nice holiday!
F. likes to play hockey. She have played hockey since she was 10 years old. She plays hockey two times a week and on Sundays she plays a game. Also she likes to read a book, plays a game on the computer or to go shopping.


Most of the time she wears jeans and a T-shirt, blouse or sweater.

F. has taken up the training Social work at this school. Her internship is at the jail in Rotterdam. She likes this internship very much. She wants to work at the jail when she has finished the training next year or she wants to go to the United States of America for one year. There, she wants to work with children and to learn the English language.
In the weekends and holidays, Linda works at a nursing home with elderly people, to earn extra money.


This was my presentation about the two persons, I hope you liked it and it was clearly.

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#2

Jan van de Velde

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Geplaatst op 19 januari 2014 - 21:25

Opmerking moderator :

Dit onderwerp past beter in het huiswerkforum en is daarom verplaatst.
ALS WIJ JE GEHOLPEN HEBBEN....
help ons dan eiwitten vouwen, en help mee ziekten als kanker en zo te bestrijden in de vrije tijd van je chip...
http://www.wetenscha...showtopic=59270

#3

Jeronimo

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Geplaatst op 19 januari 2014 - 23:25

Ik weet niet hoe het bij jou op school zit, maar bij mij haten ze het als je als laatst zegt "Dit was mijn presentatie". Probeer er een goede uitsmijter van te maken of iets in de trant van "Ik hoop jullie/u genoeg geïnformeerd te hebben. [korte pauze] Dank jullie/u wel."

Maar daar mag je natuurlijk zelf iets leuks van maken! ;)
"Natural forces within us are the true healers of disease. Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity."
Hippocrates van Kos

#4

kwasie

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Geplaatst op 20 januari 2014 - 00:09

Over de grammatica hoef je je niet zoveel zorgen te maken.
Waarop aan te merken is, zijn vooral woordkeuzes.

Zoals Jeronimo al zegt, je sluit niet met de zin: "dit was mijn spreekbeurt".
Dat moet duidelijk zijn uit jouw verhaal, of je sluit af met: "bedankt voor jullie aandacht".

Je geeft aan dat het het over 2 personen gaat hebben, en je kadert duidelijk af wanneer je over wie spreekt.
(Inleiding: dit gaat over: 1 en 2.)

Zorg voor een lopend verhaal, dan zit de rest wel goed.
Sommige stukjes komen een beetje over als...
"Hallo, wat is jouw naam? Mijn naam is..."
Daar is grammaticaal niets mis mee, maar qua opbouw niet perfect.
Dit leer je door te doen, en is niet iets om je zorgen over te maken.

Het stukje:
"two years ago we went on (a) holiday to Greece, it was also a very nice holiday!"
Het woord: "also"betekend ook, en kan dus weggelaten worden.
Zo zijn er wel meer keurigheid aanmerkingen.

Let op waar de tijdsbepaling komt.


B. wears always neatly (??) clothes.
Neatly betekend keurig.
B. always pays attention to what she wears.
B. has always paid attention to what she wears.
Wat is het verschil?


Gewoon doen.
Omdat de woordvolgorde in het Engels anders is dan in het Nederlands, kun je niet woord voor woord de tekst vertalen.
Je zult dus een beetje gevoel moeten krijgen.

Veranderd door kwasie, 20 januari 2014 - 00:09


#5

Rhiannon

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Geplaatst op 20 januari 2014 - 11:24

De samenstelling van een presentatie is over het algemeen:
1. Zeg wat je gaat vertellen
2. Vertel je verhaal
3. Zeg wat je verteld hebt

Eindzin zou bijvoorbeeld kunnen zijn: "I hope that I have made you somewhat familiar with these two people now."
Hoe minder kennis, des te onwrikbaarder het oordeel.

#6

anusthesist

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Geplaatst op 20 januari 2014 - 13:33

Dit is dubbel:

'She likes to play tennis and she likes skating. Also she runs three times a week. She does sports almost every day. She likes shopping, skating and playing tennis'.

Komt een beetje knullig over.

Daarnaast vind ik je stijl wat houterig. Ga voor de grap eens tellen hoe vaak je 'also' gebruikt. Probeer dat af te wisselen door 'as well of gewoon too'. Let dan wel op de plaats in de zin (achteraan en niet vooraan).
That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.

#7

Jeronimo

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Geplaatst op 20 januari 2014 - 15:26

Wat ook nog een goede tip kan zijn: gebruik linking words. Uit persoonlijke ervaringen heb ik geleerd dat vrij veel docenten daar heel blij van worden als je ze gebruikt (ook in een brief trouwens)!

Voorbeelden van linking words zijn also, furthermore, moreover, in addition, something else, despite en ga zo nog maar even door. Probeer ook niet te veel dezelfde woorden te gebruiken, anders gaat het lijken alsof je continu hetzelfde aan het vertellen bent. Je kunt zoiets een beetje vergelijken met iemand die een brief schrijft met in elke zin "...en toen ging ik voetballen. Gisteren was ook erg gezellig. Toen ben ik bij een voetbalwedstrijd gaan kijken. Toen er gescoord werd ging het hele stadion juichen."

Succes ;)
"Natural forces within us are the true healers of disease. Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity."
Hippocrates van Kos

#8

*_gast_pientje21_*

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Geplaatst op 20 januari 2014 - 20:57

hartstikke bedankt allemaal, ik ga ermee aan de slag! :)

#9

*_gast_pientje21_*

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Geplaatst op 21 januari 2014 - 21:52

Hallo, ik heb het stukje opnieuw geschreven/verbeterd. Vinden jullie het al meer een lopend verhaal? Heb een beetje jullie tips proberen toe te passen..=)

I am going to tell you something about my best friend and my sister.
First, I am going to tell you something about my best friend. Her name is B and she is twenty years old. I have known her since secondary school.
B has long brown hair and blue eyes and she has a lot of freckles in her face. She is tall and thin.
B loves doing things with her friends, for example go to the cinema, go shopping, or go out. Last summer, we went on holiday to Spain together. That was a great holiday!
Now, I will describe her character. B is sportive, she does sports almost every day. She likes to play tennis, she likes skating and she runs three times a week.
Secondly, B is conceited. She pays a lot of attention to her appearance, so she is always well-dressed. She loves it to wear make-up and jewellery. So she loves shopping very much.
Most of the time, B wears a jeans with a blouse or sweater. When we go out, she wears a skirt or dress with pumps or boots. She has a lot of shoes.
B works at a primary school as teachers assistant with children aged 7-12 years old. For example she gives extra lessons to children with learning problems. In the future, she wants to become a teacher at a secondary school.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The second person I am going to tell you something about is my sister. Her name is F, she is twenty-two years old.
F has blond, curly hair and she has blue eyes. F wears glasses and she has a tattoo on her arm. She is tall and thin.
F has a calm character. F is very friendly, helpful and funny. She is helpful, because she always helps me when I have problems. She is very funny, because I can always laugh with her and she makes a lot of jokes. We do a lot of things together. For example, two years ago we went on holiday to Greece, it was also a very nice holiday!
F likes to play hockey. She have played hockey since she was 10 years old. She plays hockey two times a week and on Sundays she plays a game. Also she likes to read a book, plays a game on the computer or to go shopping.
Most of the time she wears jeans and a T-shirt, blouse or sweater.
F has taken up the training Social work at this school. Her internship is at the jail in Rotterdam. She likes this internship very much. She is not sure if she wants to work at the jail when she has finished the training, because she also wants to work in the United States of America for one year. On this moment, she doesn’t know what she goes to do next year.
In the weekends and holidays, F works at a nursing home with elderly people, to earn extra money.

#10

Rhiannon

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Geplaatst op 22 januari 2014 - 09:03

Hallo, ik heb het stukje opnieuw geschreven/verbeterd. Vinden jullie het al meer een lopend verhaal? Heb een beetje jullie tips proberen toe te passen..=)

I am going to tell you something about my best friend and my sister.
First, I am going to tell you something about my best friend. Her name is B and she is twenty years old. I have known her since secondary school.
B has long brown hair and blue eyes and she has a lot of freckles in her face. She is tall and thin.
B loves doing things with her friends, for example go to the cinema, go shopping, or go out. Last summer, we went on holiday to Spain together. That was a great holiday!
Now, I will describe her character. B is fond of sports, she does sports almost every day. She likes to play tennis, she likes skating and she runs three times a week.
Secondly, B is rather vain. She pays a lot of attention to her appearance, so she is always well-dressed. She loves it to wear make-up and jewellery. So she loves shopping very much.
Most of the time, B wears a jeans with a blouse or sweater. When we go out, she wears a skirt or dress with pumps or boots. She has a lot of shoes.
B works at a primary school as a teachers assistant with children aged 7-12 years old. For example, she gives extra lessons to children with learning problems. In the future, she wants to become a teacher at a secondary school.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The second person I am going to tell you something about is my sister. Her name is F, she is twenty-two years old.
F has blond, curly hair and she has blue eyes. F wears glasses and she has a tattoo on her arm. She is tall and thin.
F has a calm character. F is very friendly, helpful and funny. She is helpful, because she always helps me when I have problems. She is very funny, because I can always laugh with her and she makes a lot of jokes. We do a lot of things together. For example, two years ago we went on holiday to Greece, it was also a very nice holiday!
F likes to play hockey. She has played hockey since she was 10 years old. She plays hockey twice a week and on Sundays she plays a game. Also she likes reading a book, playing a game on the computer or going shopping.
Most of the time she wears jeans and a T-shirt, blouse or sweater.
F has taken up the training Social work at this school. Her internship is at the jail in Rotterdam. She likes this internship very much. She is not sure if she wants to work at the jail when she has finished the training, because she also wants to work in the United States of America for one year. At this moment, she doesn’t know what she will do next year.
In the weekends and holidays, F works at a nursing home with elderly people, to earn extra money.


Het is al een stuk beter. Ik heb mijn wijzigingen in jouw tekst in het rood aangebracht. Wat opmerkingen:
sportief - beter 'fond of sports', 'sportive' betekent meer speels
ijdel - 'conceited' klinkt erg negatief
kijk eens in je boek of je kunt ontdekken waaróm ik bijvoorbeeld de volgende zin heb aangepast: 'she likes reading a book, playing a game on the computer or going shopping'
Hoe minder kennis, des te onwrikbaarder het oordeel.






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